The ultimate dos and don’ts list for hosting a wedding like a celebrity.
DO go crazy with your favours. Sparkling Tiffany bracelets, an item from your brand new fashion range or a couple of labrador puppies are standard.
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DON’T order local flowers. If they haven’t been flown in from Thailand under strict climate control, are they really worthy of your bouquet?
DO invite other A-listers. Elton John is a party staple, as is the whole Kardashian family. If they’re busy, The Chuckle Brothers will attend for a small fee.
DON’T forget to give your groom a unique wedding morning gift. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a vial of your blood on a white gold chain.
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DO hide from paparazzi. Best choose a remote castle where Elton (or The Chuckle Brothers) can be choppered in ‘incognito’.
DON’T scrimp on your entertainment. Guests will expect stilt-walking waitresses, fire-breathing barmen, a dancing dog troupe and Coldplay performing your first dance sing live.
DO order the tallest cake that is humanly possible. If it doesn’t require crystal-clad scaffolding to keep it up, no one is going to eat it (although, to be fair, no one will probably eat any cake).
HOW TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING REGISTRY OFFICE WEDDING
DON’T go to the high street for your diamonds, unless you’re doing it in an ironic way.
DO make everyone wear white. And get changed at least three times (with Vera Wang herself waiting out back to help you with buttons, natch…)
DON’T forget the honeymoon – your own private butler-served island, preferably.
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