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18 things people only say at weddings

We reveal the things you’re guaranteed to hear at every wedding you go to this year…

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17 things people only say at weddings
You're guaranteed to hear these at weddings. Image: Getty Images

It’s officially wedding season, so get your big day bingo cards at the ready, and prepare to tick off all of these things you'll only ever hear at a wedding…

1. “He looks so calm”
Yes, it’s almost like it’s the happiest day of his life or something.

2. “They got so lucky with the weather/shame about the weather”
We are British after all.

9 THINGS THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN AT A BRITISH WEDDING

3. “So how do you know the bride and groom?”
Cue awkward moment when they tell you they’re the groom’s father.

4. “Doesn’t she look beautiful?!”
If you don’t compliment the bride you get thrown out. It’s the rules.

5. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
It’s not a wedding unless someone reads Corinthians.

6. "Do I have loads of confetti in my hair?"
Yes. And all down your back, soz. 

7. “Sorry can I swap my food order? I'm vegan but I forgot to put it on my RSVP”
Oh, hey there fussy eaters, it's great you gave the bride and groom lots of notice.

8. “This looks delicious, where’s the rest of it?!”
Oh ha ha! Everyone loves the person who complains about their free meal.

THE MOST COMMON WEDDING GUEST COMPLAINTS

9. “In year five she was awarded her grade two on saxophone…”
Why do fathers of the bride insist on going through every single one of the bride’s academic achievements? I mean good for her and all, but yawn.

10. “My wife and I…”
WAHEY! The groom’s speech has started

11. “You next!”
Ah yes, the one phrase every unmarried couple has to politely smile at over and over again.

12. “Who’s the guy in the flip flops?”
There’s always someone who decides they don’t need to follow the dress code.

13. “Joffie! Stop eating those sweeties”
No, no. Let your lovely little angel eat all those handcrafted fudge favours. They only took the bridesmaids four months to make.

14. “Oh no I’d never wear white to a wedding. My dress is eggshell.”
Uh-huh, sure it is….

15. “We got them a slow cooker, we never stop using ours.”
Pretty certain they asked for donations for their honeymoon fund, but whatever.

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16. “Well at our wedding…”
No one cares.

17. “Five double vodkas and two jagerbombs please”
Get your elbows ready for the mad rush before the free bar ends.


All GIFs via GIPHY

18. Single Ladies is playing - WE’RE DANCING”
Calling all Queen Bs – time to get those sassy hips ready.

Want more? Here are funny wedding stories that actually happened and the things every guest wants at your wedding

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