We’ve all heard horror stories about brides and their future mother-in-laws having screaming rows right through wedding planning and up until the big day – not the ideal way to start married life!
Want to avoid any awkward moments with your mum-to-be and to make her feel part of the wedding organisation? Here’s what not to say to your future mother in law…
1. “Errrr, no”
Yes, your future MIL’s ideas might be ridiculous (an actual horse-drawn carriage? Really?!), but you need to work on your delivery. Saying “Oh that’s an interesting idea I’ll consider it” or simply explaining why it won’t work is a lot friendlier than a flat-out no.
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2. “I don’t think we need any help, thanks”
If your MIL in keen to help out make sure you find her something to do (this is particularly important if he’s an only child, or he has only other brothers). Ask her to help you with some wedding DIY or get her opinion on flowers. Put that, ahem, enthusiasm to good use!
3. “He hasn’t liked cake icing/pink shirts/bow ties since he was five!”
Any suggestion that you know her son better than she does (even if it is true) probably won’t go down well. Refer all questions about him, back to him and don’t get involved.
4. “Well, weddings have changed a lot since your day”
Talking negatively about someone’s age is never nice. Make an effort to explain your ideas (visuals from maagzines or Pinterests should help her understand). If some of her ideas are a bit too traditional for your taste, just smile, nod along and do your own thing anyway – it will save you a lot of stress.
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5. “He’s refusing to help me make tissue paper pom poms”
Never moan or complain about your other half to their parents! It will always get back to your husband-to-be and it’s a recipe for an instant wedding-planning argument.
If you really need to have a moan go to your bridesmaids or your mum instead, they’re more likely to be discreet.
6. “You can’t wear that”
So, it might be pink and shiny with big puffball sleeves, but you can’t dictate what your MIL wears. If you’re really worried about her taste go shopping with her and give her a gentle steer in the right direction.
Want more advice? Here are five ways to keep your mother in law happy and how to deal with family feuds at your wedding